Quotes by Jonathan Swift

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I have wasted 40 years on pilgrimages to two or three corners of this world in order to find the philosopher's stone called Truth. I consulted all the admirers of antiquity, Epicurus and Augustine, Plato and Malebranche, but I remained as poor as at first.

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Satire doesn't correct anyone, it only makes fools worse.

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Hope for recovery is half the cure.

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We are advised: be content with what you have, do not wish for anything better, keep your curiosity in check, calm your restless spirit. These are wonderful teachings, but if we always followed them we would be eating acorns and sleeping under the open sky by now.

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It is fitting that pioneers should occupy the first place in the memory of men. But however respectfully we relate to these first geniuses, their descendants often give us much more pleasure.

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We honor the geniuses who gave the arts their first outlines, though they are nearer to new minds who perfected these arts.

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Our love for ourselves helps our love for others.

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My friends, don't be afraid to make fun of superstitions. I know of no more effectual means of destroying superstition than to put it in a ridiculous light. Something that has become gooey cannot be dangerous.

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At no age can a talent be acquired that we lack, but at any age we can correct our mistakes.

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My love of country cannot make me close my eyes to the merits of foreigners. On the contrary, the more I love my country, the more I tend to enrich my country with treasures extracted from other soils.

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The multitude of facts and writings is growing so rapidly that in the near future it will all have to be collected in anthologies and dictionaries.

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What is true and wonderful are the same in all times and among all peoples

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When there is nothing to say, there is always stupid talk.

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When I can do what I want, it means I am free; but what I want, I want by virtue of necessity.

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Someday, perhaps, I will come across a planet where harmony reigns, but as yet no one has shown me where such a planet is to be found.

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He who does not master the spirit of his age, attracts all the sadness of this age.

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Love the truth, but be sympathetic to error.

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People easily believe in what they passionately desire.

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The multitude of laws in a state means the same thing as the multitude of doctors: a sign of sickness and impotence.

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There are never great achievements without great difficulties.

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In the same way that death is the greatest physical evil, war is the greatest moral evil.

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Only the weak commit crimes: the strong and happy do not need them.

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The success of science lies in the labor of time and in the boldness of the mind.

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Man from birth tends towards action, as fire tends upwards and stone downwards.

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You can subject the honest man to an investigation, but you cannot dishonor him.

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When we read a good book for the first time, we experience the same feeling when we make a new friend. Re-reading the same book means seeing an old friend again.

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I love life anyway. This foolish weakness is, perhaps, one of our fatal defects: that what can be more foolish than the desire to carry a burden that you wish to throw to the ground; to be terrified of your own existence and keep crawling.

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I always, as far as possible, lead my metaphysics to morality. In this world success is achieved only with the point of the sword and one dies with the weapon in hand.

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I may not agree with your arguments, but I will give my life for your right to express them.

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It is undoubtedly in the interest of society to have some form of divinity to punish that which cannot be defeated by human justice.

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Passions are the winds that swell the sails of the ship. Sometimes they sink her, but without them she could not float. In the world, everything is dangerously necessary.

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Social equality is the most natural and the most illusory idea. On our unhappy planet, people living in society necessarily fall into two categories: the rich, who give orders, and the poor, who fulfill them.

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Permanent arrogance is just the mask of mediocrity.

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It's great to be modest, but that doesn't mean you have to be indifferent.

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Only what is natural is wonderful.

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Something wonderful ceases to be so if it manifests when it is not the time.

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It must be admitted that the inventors in the field of mechanical art have proved far more useful to men than the inventors of syllogisms: he who invented the syllogism has an extraordinary advantage over him who invented innate ideas.

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Nothing happens by chance, everything in the world is either a test, or a punishment, or a reward, or an omen.

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Old age is given to have its share of troubles, but it must be wise enough to bear them with serenity.

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Use, but do not overdo it - this is the rule of wisdom. Neither abstinence nor excess brings happiness.

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Satire is a special mirror in which anyone who looks sees anyone else but himself.

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The selfishness of some does not allow them to bring joy to others. The selfishness of others is entirely reduced to procuring their own joys. This is the great difference between virtue and vice.

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Elephants are always painted smaller than they really are; fleas, however, always larger.

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Arguing is the worst kind of conversation.

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Elders and comets enjoy honor for one and the same reason: both have beards; both some and others have the gift of prediction.

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The tavern is where madness is sold by the bottle.

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The fact that people are evil has never surprised me, but that they have no shame seems strange to me.

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The one who seemed to get what he wanted out of life usually finds himself in a situation where shortcomings and bitterness prevent joys and delights.

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Pride is sooner the sign of smallness than of greatness.

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Writers are in the habit of calling our century "turning", and painters "sinful".

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Conviction is a necessary attribute for preachers and orators, for he who commits his thoughts to the crowd is more successful than he himself believes in them.

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The greatest and most sincere part of our prayers are the petitions.

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The mind is like a razor: when it is sharp, it hurts others; when she's sick, - ourselves.

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Religion is a disease of the soul.

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She looks so much like her husband, as if she were created from his mouth.

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Giving in to anger is the same as taking revenge on yourself for someone else's fault.

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Absence of faith is a defect that needs to be either corrected or hidden.

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The party is the folly of the many for the gain of the few.

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The political liar differs from the average liar in one essential respect: he usually has a short memory.

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Help yourself and your friends will love you more.

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Monday is the priest's Sunday.

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With how easily we overlook our bad deeds, small beginnings, with how carefully we hide our bodily weakness, it is no wonder that we treat our own stupidity with indulgence.

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The cause of important events, like the springs of rivers, is often extremely insignificant.

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Zealous defenders of moral purity are plagued by a dirty imagination.

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She is as innocent as an unborn baby.

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Satisfying your needs at the cost of denying your desires is the same as cutting off your feet because you need slippers.

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To be free is to do what gives you pleasure.

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Great things require boundless consistency.

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To know God, you must be God himself.

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If people argue for a long time, it means that what they are arguing about is not clear even to themselves.

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If we value happiness, how much more should we value reason.

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If the crowd begins to judge, all is lost!

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What's the point of philosophizing, what's the point of acting? Don't you know that the world is ruled by fate? Drink hot drinks when it's cold, drink soft drinks in the summer; keep measure in all things, take care of digestion, rest, enjoy and laugh at all these.

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There is no evil that does not also give rise to good.

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It is the vain attempts to appear spiritual that kill any trace of spirit.

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Someone can be useless in the first line, but brilliant in the second line.

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Enjoying yourself always means not enjoying yourself.

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In all times, in all countries, in all situations, what is bad is like a blade of grass, and what is good is rare. In any profession, everything that is most undignified manifests itself with particular insolence.

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I am inclined to believe that in the day of Judgment, both the learned, with his contempt for morals, and the ignorant, disgusted with faith, will be treated alike, because these sins cannot be redeemed; thus culture and ignorance will end in the same way...

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Although people are accused of knowing too little of their weaknesses, it is possible that they know just as little of their qualities.

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Although reason, according to the will of Providence, must govern our senses, in two decisive moments for our earthly existence, the senses come to the fore. Thus, firstly, the desire to leave offspring - no sane man would ever have married if he had listened to the voice of reason, and secondly, the fear of death - which, again, contradicts sound judgment: if man did not indulge his senses, he would hate life and wish either it were over sooner or that it had never begun.

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Man can be induced (with money or threat) to go to church - but no more than that.

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The more sentimental a man is, the more soulless he is.

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Honestly, that sounds so good like I said it!

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We do not know what is done in heaven; on the other hand, we know for sure what is not done: no one marries and does not marry.

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What could be more disgusting than a hearse rolling down the street?

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What is the use of shaming cowards - for if they feared shame, they would not be cowards; death - here is the most worthy punishment, because it is the most feared.

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I do not answer to God for those doubts that arise in my soul, because these doubts are the effect of that reason that He planted in me.

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The cards are badly shuffled, I complain, but only until I get a good hand.

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If we lived in the world for only two moments, we would give it to reason.

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One of the heights of Parnassus was dedicated to Bacchus, the other to Apollo.

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If he keeps his distance from me, I console myself with the idea that my ill-wisher is as far from me as I am from him.

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Slander usually strikes the best of men, just as worms attack the best of fruit.

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Books are the children of reason.

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When doctors talk about religion, they are like butchers philosophizing about life and death.

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When someone drew the attention of a rather influential person that the people were dissatisfied, he retorted: "What can I say, there are a few donkeys sitting at the bart and talking nonsense and already it seems to them that their talk is the voice of the people."

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When we aspire to something, this something appears to us exclusively in a favorable light; but once the goal is achieved, only the negative aspects of what was done jump into our eyes.

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When old people get together and start to remember events from their youth we think how happy those times were compared to now.

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When I read a book, whether it's smart or stupid, I feel like it's alive and talking to me.

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If it is true that the great significance of our religion lies in the union of the spiritual and the human, it is strange that some spiritual treatises are completely devoid of humanity.

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Criticism is a tax that a famous man pays to the public.

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In addition to real diseases, we are exposed to a lot of imaginary diseases.

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Just as you can know a man by the society he frequents, so you can know him by the way he expresses himself.

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How can you believe that humanity is capable of heeding a piece of advice, if its mind is not capable of heeding even a warning?

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If wealth were counted in Heaven as something of value, it would not be given into the hands of such scoundrels.

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If you direct your irony against someone, you must be ready to cash it in yourself.

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If the number of books and laws increases as it has in the last fifty years, I fear that in the future anyone will be able to be a scholar or a jurist.

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There is only one way for a book to appear in the world (as well as its author, by the way), and tens of thousands of ways to leave it forever.

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Sometimes it makes sense to live by someone else's mind, but basically you can only rely on your own.

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The plot, hatched by some petty minds against a man who enjoys world fame, only confirms the genius of this man.

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Laws are like a spider's web in which only the little ones are caught and not bumblebees or wasps.

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You can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear.

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Everyone wants to live long, but no one wants to grow old.

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It would seem that lying is such a simple and easy thing, but I have not heard any conversation that, even the most skilled liars, someone managed to lie successfully three times in a row.

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They say that flattery is the food of fools, but many educated people are ready to have at least a Sunday of this food from time to time.

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Only a very few are alive today. Most are preparing to live later.

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No wise man has yet been seen who wanted to rejuvenate.

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Don't be too quick to say "no" until you're asked.

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It is impossible to imagine that such a natural, necessary and universal phenomenon as death was intended by the Heavens as a punishment for mankind.

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There are some who, in trying to eradicate prejudice, at the same time eradicate virtue and honor and religion.

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We must never be ashamed to admit that we were wrong: because in this way we are actually saying that we are smarter today than we were yesterday.

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No one rushes to get advice, instead everyone rushes to money - it turns out that money is better than advice

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Nothing destroys plans more than failure accompanied by feelings of guilt and shame.

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The right word in the right place - here is the most accurate definition of style.

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Repentance is the most pleasing tribute to heaven; this is also the most sincere manifestation of our piety.

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Promises are made only to be broken.

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A genuine satire does not target anyone directly.

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We are often accused of not noticing our own weaknesses, but are there many who know their strengths? They are like the ore that does not know that it hides a vein of gold in it.

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The spirit of observation is the memory of the aged.

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It is very easy to drive people out of their minds who enjoy all the goods of life; it's a bit harder to do them at will.

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Louis XIV King of France, dedicates his life to turning his good name into a famous one.

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The favorite pastime of men, children, and other such animals is fighting.

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The wise man is least lonely when he is alone.

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I was never given to see, hear, or read in books that the clergy enjoyed love in a Christian country. Only persecuted priests can win the sympathy of the people.

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Many people go to great lengths to hide their intelligence than to hide their stupidity.

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Many truths are told in jest.

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We are satisfied when our witticisms are laughed at, but not our stupidity.

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We are godly enough to hate one another, but not godly enough to love one another.

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We are so connected to each other only because we suffer from the same diseases.

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In the art of eloquence, the greatest craft lies in concealing your craft.

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In quarrels, as in war, the weaker side lights fires and makes a lot of noise to make the enemy think that it is stronger than it really is.

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In old age, the learned man is busy trying to get rid of the imprudences committed in his youth.

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Climbing involves the same position as crawling.

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Venera, a wonderful and hard-working woman, was the goddess of love; Juno, a horribly curmudgeonly woman, the goddess of marriage; and they always bitterly hated each other.

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There is nothing in the world more consistent than inconsistency.

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In the eyes of the world, you will only be young and beautiful for a few years; and in the husband's eyes, only a few months.

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It happens that I read a book with pleasure and at the same time hate its author.

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Most marriages are unhappy because the young wives weave nets when they should be tending to the cage.

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The diseases of old age weaken our connection with life.

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What if the church was a cave not only for the dead but also for the living?

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In my youth, it seemed to me that everyone, like me, talked only about the latest play.

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Vision is the art of seeing the unseen.

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Power is a temptation to the monarch, as wine or women are to a young man, as bribes to a judge, as money to an old man, and pride to a woman.

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I'm as innocent as a two-year-old devil.

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A bad company is like a dog that dirties the one it loves the most.

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Dignity, status, wealth are in a sense necessary for the elderly, so that the youth keep their distance and do not think of making fun of their advanced age.

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A high official must observe two rules: always restrain his feelings and never restrain his tendency to fulfill promises.

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May God grant you to live all the days of your life.

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It has long been known that those who come second have an indisputable right to first place.

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To say that man is obliged to believe in God is not only untrue, but also foolish.

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The genius immediately catches the eye, if only because all the stupid and ungifted are fronting against him.

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You young people think old people are fools; and we old people know that young people are stupid.

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Any government that rules without the consent of the ruled - that is the exact formula for slavery!

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Anyone who can grow two ears of wheat where before only one grew deserves the highest respect of mankind and does more for his country than all the politicians put together.

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In general, I feel hatred and disgust towards the animal called man; but I love John, Peter, Thomas and so on with all my heart.

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Happy is he who expects nothing; they will never disappoint him.

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We already have enough religion to hate, but not enough to love each other.

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Wise men never wished to be young.

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When a true genius is born into this world, it is most certainly indicated by the fact that all fools will conspire against him.

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The one who can make two ears of wheat or two blades of grass grow on the patch where only one has grown: he is doing a greater service to humanity and his country than all the scumbag politicians.

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Vision is the art of seeing things invisible to others.

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I hate and despise the animal called man.

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In life, it is better to want what is not ours than to have what we want.

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The more vivid the imagination, the weaker the reasoning.

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The spirit without knowledge (...) is a cream that gathers on the surface in a single night, and from which a skilful hand soon whips up foam.

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Satire is a mirror in which observers usually discover everyone's face except their own.

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The love of the whole species is a natural law - only reason makes a difference between persons, of course even there only if the virtues are special.

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One should never hesitate to admit a mistake. By doing this, he shows that he is improving and that he is smarter today than he was yesterday.

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Everyone wants to live long, but no one wants to grow old.

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You can't talk someone out of something that hasn't been talked about with arguments.

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Anger and rage give strength to the body, but they weaken the muscles of the spirit and weaken and render ineffective all the efforts of our mind.