"Sometimes I stop on the street, reach into my pocket, I feel like I've lost something. At home, I open drawers, read letters, search the pockets of old clothes. (...) I lost something. I wake up around three in the morning and suddenly understand: I lost the dream! Not the dream of the night, the by-product of sleep, that messy, sweet unbakedness, (...) but the dream-like feeling that there is a meaning behind reality that cannot be expressed in words. What was this dream? Why does it hurt like it's not there anymore? Why are you looking for it? Was it the youth? I do not know. All I know is that I was robbed.
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Author
Márai SándorAll Translations
All Translations
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Sometimes I stop on the street, reach into my pocket, I feel like I've lost something. At home, I open drawers, read letters, search the pockets of old clothes. (...) I lost something. I wake up around three in the morning and suddenly understand: I lost the dream! Not the dream of the night, the by-product of sleep, that messy, sweet unbakedness, (...) but the dream-like feeling that there is a meaning behind reality that cannot be expressed in words. What was this dream? Why does it hurt like it's not there anymore? Why are you looking for it? Was it the youth? I do not know. All I know is that I was robbed.
""Néha megállok az utcán, zsebembe nyúlok, úgy érzem, elvesztettem valamit. Otthon fiókokat nyitogatok, leveleket olvasok, régi ruhák zsebeit kutatom át. (...) Valamit elvesztettem. Felébredek éjjel három felé, s egyszerre megértem: az álmot vesztettem el! Nem az éjszaka álmát, az alvás melléktermékét, azt a zagyva, édes sületlenséget, (...) hanem azt az álomszerű érzést, hogy a valóság mögött van értelem, melyet nem lehet szavakkal kifejezni. Mi volt ez az álom? Miért fáj úgy, hogy nincs már? Miért kutatok utána? Az ifjúság volt? Nem tudom. Csak azt tudom, hogy kiraboltak."