Quotes by Jean de La Bruyere

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The egoist: ... he who does not constrain himself for anyone, does not mourn for anyone, knows only his misfortunes, does not mourn the death of others at all, fears only his own, which he would gladly redeem at the price of the extinction of human genius.

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The end comes every now and then, but we wait for it all our lives: the fear of death is more tormenting than death itself.

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Extremes are always vicious, because they come from man; the balance is always right because it comes from God.

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To him who walks slowly and unhurriedly, no road seems long; he who patiently prepares for the road, reaches the goal without fail.

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Logic is, it seems, the science of proving some truth, and eloquence is a gift that allows us to control the mind and heart of the interlocutor, the ability to explain or instill in him everything we want.

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People, for the most part, first get angry and then throw an insult; others, however, do the opposite: first insult and then get angry.

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People, when they want, take the hand of the one they rely on. Are they right? They procrastinate, argue and… give in.

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The king, surrounded by luxury and wealth, is a shepherd in gilded and bejeweled robes, with a golden staff in his hand, with a dog held in a golden collar, with a brocade belt. What is the use of this gold to the herd? Is he protecting him from the wolves?

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We are full of tenderness towards those to whom we do good, and hate with a passion those whom we have often insulted.

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We must gain the goodwill of those whom we want to help and not of those from whom we expect help.

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The character of the one who is intolerant of the unpleasant character of his neighbor is not very beautiful: let us remember that gold and small things are also in circulation.

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It is not so much the mind as the heart that helps a man to approach people and be liked by them.

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When the crowd is troubled, no one can tell how it can be restored to peace. When she is calm, no one knows what can disturb her peace.

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How hard it is to please someone!

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Two paths lead to a high position: the straight, beaten path, and the detouring side path that is much shorter.

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Most people spend half their lives making the other half miserable.

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Let's laugh without waiting for the moment when we will feel happy, otherwise we risk dying without having ever laughed.

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It is good to be a philosopher; just having its reputation - not very useful.

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Don't think of calling someone a philosopher: this word is considered, with us it's almost an insult and it will be like that until people, changing their views, restore its original high meaning and surround it with due respect.

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In divulging a secret, the one who confided it to another is always guilty.

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Look at a clock: the wheels, the springs—in a word, the whole mechanism—are visible; we only see the needle which insensibly completes its circular course, then begins another. It is the same with the life of the courtier: not infrequently, having reached far enough, he finds himself at the point of departure.

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All passions are deceptive: they strive to put on a mask, they hide from themselves. There is no vice which does not disguise itself in some virtue or which does not jump to the aid of virtue.

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Above the great politician I place the one who does not want to become a great politician, because day by day I am convinced that this world is not worth spending our energies on.

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Even the best advice often causes us dissatisfaction: it is enough that it does not come from us; haughtiness and pride prompt us to disregard it, and if we happen to follow it, we do so only after long consideration, and only by virtue of absolute necessity.

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Intrigues need mind, but when there is enough mind a man finds himself so high in relation to intrigues and schemes that he does not descend to them; in this case he achieves success and fame in entirely different ways.

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And at the dawn and dusk of love, people always experience a sense of confusion when they are left alone.

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A noble character is only one who does not pursue advantages.

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About the powerful of the world it is better to be silent: to speak well of them is almost always to flatter them; to speak ill of them is dangerous while they are still alive, and wicked to do so after they are dead.

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Orators are a bit like the military: they take more risk than other professions, but they rise faster.

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The mind of all men taken together availeth not him that hath no mind at all: the blind man availeth not another's acumen.

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Success always arouses our sympathy for the one who has achieved it: whether he is a great dignitary or a simple man, we admire him, we are excited because of him; an unpunished crime is glorified almost as a virtuous deed, and luck takes the place of almost all virtues. If a deed cannot be justified even by achieving success, it means that it is a matter of vile, miserable and disgusting villainy.

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The favorite must always be careful how he behaves. For if he keeps me in the antechamber less than usual, if his countenance is kinder, and his brows less furrowed, if he listens to me kindly, and leads me as near as possible to the door, I know he cares for the dismissal—and I am not mistaken .

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Often people fall from great heights because of the same flaws that helped them get there.

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Man can rise only in two ways: by his own skill or by the stupidity of others.

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Man is a liar by nature, but the truth is simple and empty; man wants flourishes and contrivances, and therefore has no need of truth: it falls to him from the sky ready-made and perfect, and man likes only what he himself has created - donuts and brasovas.

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The man who has occupied himself for a while with intrigues can no longer manage without them: everything else seems boring to him.

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The more our loved ones resemble us, the more we like them; respecting someone is the same as putting them on the same level as us.

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The less a man talks, the more he gains: people begin to believe that he is not out of his mind, and if he is not really stupid, everyone will think that he is very clever.

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Generosity is not so much about giving a lot, but about giving on time.

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One of the misfortunes of the ruler is that he is afraid to divulge the many secrets he knows. Happiness is, for him, when a man is found to take this burden on his shoulders.

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Some have enough sense to succeed in their field, even to teach others, but too little, not to get involved in something they don't understand: they go out with aplomb from the boundaries of their own occupations, but they get lost on the spot and with all their endowment, they begin to talk like fools.

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Reason has two points of support the past and the future; the man endowed with a vivid memory and clairvoyance will never accuse those close to him of something he may have done himself or judge them for acts committed under such circumstances which, once and for all, will make him proceed the same as these.

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It is hard to say which is more worthy of hesitation: pity or contempt, and which is more dangerous: making the wrong decision or making none at all.

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Sometimes it is easier and more useful to adapt to a foreign habit than to adjust this habit to your own.

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To conclude that some people are not capable of normal judgment and to dismiss from the outset everything they say, have said, and will say, is to save a lot of unnecessary arguments.

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The absolute opposite of what is said about things and people is often the real truth about them.

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Brutality, vulgarity, arrogance are defects from which, sometimes, even learned people are not exempt.

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Modesty is necessary to the qualities as the silhouettes in a painting need the background: it gives them strength and relief.

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Justice, in relation to the neighbor, must be done without delay; to drag on in such situations is to be unfair.

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Give men such offices as they will defend at the risk of losing their lives, but also with the hope of keeping them: man loves both fame and life.

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The essence of politeness consists in striving to speak and behave in such a way that our neighbors are pleased with us and themselves.

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The talent of an interlocutor is not the one who speaks with pleasure, but the one with whom others speak with pleasure; if after the conversation with you, the person is satisfied with himself, with his sharp spirit, it means that he is also satisfied with you.

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Missing the person you love is easier than living with someone you hate.

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Whoever falls in love with an ugly woman, does it with all the power of passion, because such love is either proof of some strange whims of his taste, or of the hidden charms of the beloved, much stronger than the charms of beauty.

"When we praise other people it is because we think that they look like us; often to respect a person means to put him on the same level as oneself."

"As rules go, “You should behave just as other people behave” is among the most dangerous; it almost always results in your behaving badly."

"The very shortcomings which make others difficult and unbearable mean less in yourself. You do not see them, and when you speak of other people having these drawbacks, you do not notice that you are describing yourself."

"He who is kind does good for other people. And if a person suffers while he does kind deeds, he becomes an even better person."

"A flatterer speaks his flattery because he has a low opinion of himself and of others."

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Love begins with love, and even the strongest friendship can only develop into weak love.

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They tell me so much bad about a person, and I see so little of him, that I begin to suspect whether he has not some annoying merit which overshadows that of the others.

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There is a misery in the face of which it is truly a shame to be happy.

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The things we desire most do not happen; or if they do happen, not at a time and not under circumstances where they would cause inordinate pleasure.

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Time strengthens friendship and weakens love.

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It does not depend on our will to love someone forever, just as it does not depend on our will not to love.

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Humanly speaking, death has a good side: it puts an end to old age.

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The direct cause of poverty is great wealth.

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We can be grateful to our friend if, after falling into great favor, he remains an acquaintance.

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We recover the slowest from sudden love.

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Let's not wait to laugh until we are happy, because otherwise we are afraid that we will die without having laughed.

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When a person renounces pleasures either out of propriety, boredom, or lifestyle, the first thing he does is to condemn them in others.

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We think of those we want to forget.

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It's better to be without someone you love than to be with someone you don't.

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An insensitive woman is a woman who has not yet met the man she will love.

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The estrangement and loosening of friendship has its reasons; in love, there is little reason for not loving each other anymore, except that we loved each other too much.

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It sometimes happens that the woman hides from the man all the love she feels for him; and the man at the same time feigns all the love he does not feel for her.

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The glory or merit of some is that they write well, and that of others is that they do not.

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Who has neither praiser nor scornful supporter; who does not belong to any body, but is alone and has no recommendation letter other than his merits, must struggle bitterly to break his way out of obscurity and reach the level of a favored, self-righteous idiot!

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There are two ways to get to higher dignities, what we call the straight path, or trodden path, and the circuitous path, or crooked path. Emez is the shorter one.

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Men are better at philosophizing about the human heart, but women are better at reading it.

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There are two ways to rise in this world: either through diligence or through the stupidity of others.

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The joy of criticism deprives us of the joy that would be caused by the profound impact of transcendently beautiful works.

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There are people made of bad wood and of bad character, to whom we should never condescend, to whom we should complain as little as possible, and to whom it is not even advisable to be right.

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Politeness does not always mean goodness, gratitude, and kindness at the same time, but it must at least give the appearance of these; - it shows the person externally in the color they should really be internally.

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There is no home in the tyrant's empire; it is replaced by other things: interest, lust for glory and serving the prince.

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Good manners are the best passport in life.

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Thanks to our hearts, we are more sociable and pleasant social beings than thanks to our minds.

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Punishing the guilty is a warning example to villains, condemning the innocent is the business of all decent people.

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We find that some people are knocked off the high shelf by the same faults that got them up there.

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Miracles are born out of difficulties.

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A man keeps another man's secret better than his own - a woman keeps hers better than another's.

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Men are the reason women don't like each other.

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The merit of people's actions is determined only by their intention, and altruism makes them perfect.

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Just as we are more and more attracted to people with whom we have done good, so we hate more and more fiercely those whom we have hurt greatly.

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It is both difficult to suppress the feeling of being wronged in the beginning and to preserve it after years.

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A wise man does not allow himself to be governed, nor does he seek to govern others; he wants only reason to rule at all times.

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I believe that we depend on the place where we live in terms of our thinking, mood, taste, passions and emotions.

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It is a great misfortune if one is neither intelligent enough to speak well nor clever enough to listen.

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It is often easier and more useful to get along with others than to try to make others adapt to us.

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We will not go far in friendship if we are not willing to forgive each other our small mistakes.

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Mockery is often spiritual poverty.

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Anyone who has lived in the world of twists and turns for a long time can no longer live without them: any other kind of life is just a distraction for him.

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Let us not be angry with people when we see that they are hard-hearted, ungrateful, unjust, arrogant, and love only themselves and do not care about others: they are like that, that is their nature. To be indignant at this is like not being able to bear the falling of the stone or the rising of the flame.

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If our life is miserable, it is hard to bear; if he is happy, it is terrible to lose: the two go together.

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There is nothing that people love to preserve more, and that they spare less than their own lives.

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Boredom was born of laziness; it has a large part in people's pursuit of pleasure, gambling, and company. Those who love work are self-sufficient.

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For most people, there is only one real blow: when they feel that they have made a mistake and have something to blame themselves for.

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A virtuous person is one who is neither holy nor hypocritical, and who is content with being just virtuous.

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We must choose friends so reliable and so strictly blameless that even if they cease to be our friends, we can be sure that they will not abuse our trust and become our enemies.

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There are situations in life where telling the truth and keeping it simple is the best trick in the world.

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Love dies in the crowd and is buried by oblivion.